Theatre tour up and running.

My word, it seems like ages since this blog was updated. So much has happened and the last two months have been a whirlwind of auditions, rehearsals and then touring.

First of all to the auditions. At the end of last season we lost our dance captain Fay Blower who is about to travel the world on a cruise ship. We also lost our singer Steve Paul who went off to pastures new. All in all we needed two new dancers and a male singer. Neil Patrick was the obvious choice of singer, having worked with us before and now being available for a full contract. Our two new dancers are Steph Larty and Jenna Knight. Both friends of our new dance captain Helene Lewis. Gemma Edmundson also returns to the clan after an absence of a year or so.

So with the new team in place we start rehearsals late August and for some strange reason everything goes a little too well. We have early finishes on many days and it becomes quite obvious that these dancers pick up routines extremely quickly. Neil is also very quick at learning routines and within no time we are heading for Solihull for our first shows.

John and Judith from Retired Greyhound Trust (Midlands) come to see us on our first show. John is trying very hard to get Marie to take another greyhound but she is having none of it. As for the shows, well, no train crashes!!! This is so unusual. Normally first or second show there are some kind of disasters while folk get used the new show, but no, not this time. Very weird. Obviously Marie Colin and Jenni have done this show before which helps a little, but to have everyone performing every routine to such a standard was very pleasing.

So, off we went. Solihull for two days, a Saturday off in London. Broxbourne Sunday matinee, drive to Runcorn for three days and then finish at Skegness. Always a pleasure to see Graeme, Jim and Pete at Runcorn. Not forgetting our past dance captain Alex and Danielle, one of our previous singers, who is currently home after working on cruises.

The following week sees us tackle Scotland for the first time this season. Hamilton, then a day off due to the unforeseen closure of Whitehall Theatre, Dundee, which has now re-opened. Kilmarnock and a day trip to Inverurie finish off this particular run.

Home for a couple of days hard earned rest and then it is back to Scotland yet again. This time Greenock, Rutherglen and Stirling are our ports of call. Always a pleasure to see Eileen at Stirling. Not many people know this but she is one of Colin’s gag suppliers. Not many days pass that a gag or two don’t land in his email box.

And so we hit October and our first local venue of the season at Customs House South Shields. Three days of no set up, no ironing and a chance to lie in bed if needed. Our last show is only slightly marred by the fact that straight after the matinee show we have to drive to Aberdeen for two shows the next day. The fact that we know that our friends Debbie, Rebecaa, Lucy, Harry and Sarah are going to be with us makes it all worthwhile. The only downside being that we don’t get a chance to spend much time with them this season because of travel arrangements.

Our next run sees us hit Dudley, Felixstowe and Bradford. Looking at the calendar it is quite scary to think that most of the shows are now behind us and in a matter of four weeks or so the tour will have already ended.

Next week is our worst travelling week of the season. Starting at Dudley again, then to Cromer,  Winsford and Exeter. Boy oh boy!!!! The cast have been fantastic and a real pleasure to work with. Nobody is moaning or whining, everyone is doing their job and the atmosphere backstage is ultra relaxed and happy. Long may it continue.

And so we face the final curtain, until September

Thursday 19^th May. Wyllyots Centre, Potters Bar.

And so we face the final curtain. Well, at least until September when it all starts again.

Too long a journey to do this one all in one day and so we all travel the day before, except for Siobhan who lives quite close to the Theatre and will just get there for the show.

This venue is another one of our success stories as it sells out every single time. We find that a little strange as it is the only venue in the country where we must be finished around 4.00pm and therefore we only have time to do around 40 minutes of our normal second half. From a performance point of view this makes for a very easy show, and as long as everyone is happy….so be it.

Show over. The cast get Marie’s instructions as to what to do with costumes. We have a showcase for a cruise contract in 3 weeks time and so some of the costumes will be used for this, while others get sorted and packaged away until their next outing.

This season seems to have gone so quickly. We have had an excellent cast. Thanks to Pen, Steve Paul, Fay, Helene, Siobhan and Nina. Not forgetting Bill Bill of course.

Our audiences have been amazing. Our average ticket sales have increased in general, the feedback has been superb, and we look forward to starting rehearsals in August for the next tour of ‘A Timeless Collection’. Dates for this can be found at http://timelesstheatre.co.uk/theatre-shows-and-tour-itinerary.html

Our audiences have been so generous too in their support of our charity fund raising programme to the point that we have now presented a cheque to Sunderland Hospitals for £3,700.00. We made a rough calculation that over the past 4 years we have raised over £15,000 thanks to the generosity of everyone. We also thank everyone who bought our CD’s and hope that you are all enjoying them.

What will next season bring we wonder? In this business we never know who the cast members will be and so we look forward to keeping you posted on this as we get any news.

We look forward to seeing all of our audiences again next season. In the meantime, god bless you all, and here is a final word from Maisy.

20^th May 2011

Hello everyone, this is Maisy the Greyhound and today something very strange happened.  Colin and Marie unpacked their cases and stored them up in the loft! Now in my book (and I’m a dog so I may see things from a slightly different angle to you) that can only mean one thing ……. No More trips to the Kennels for me – YIPPEE.

If I am totally honest with you, I quite like the kennels I go to – they are run by a lady called Carole who is generally very very nice to me (she says I’m her favourite and sometimes she gives me extra attention and treats when the other dogs aren’t looking).  She did once tell me off for chewing up my duvet cover (I didn’t like the colour you see) but she doesn’t seem to hold grudges and I promised  I won’t chew up the new  one (well I like the colour of this new one so there is no need to chew it up really is there?)

So asides from the human’s cases going up in to the loft because they are not touring for a couple of months, a couple of other things have been going on.  Colin (the man human) went out and got some new glasses (hardly recognised him) and he has been spending a lot of time in the office doing important office things. (Apparently planning the next tour, though Jo-Jo told me in confidence that he just gets in the way and messes up the office that stays nice and tidy when he is on tour).  Marie has been organising new posters and sorting costume repairs and getting things ready for another set of rehearsals starting in a couple of months, there is a lot to organise in advance you know  – I’m quite looking forward to rehearsals again, that dancer girl ‘Helene’ promised to bring more beef flavour crisps with her (hopefully she hasn’t found out they are not for Dogs yet)

I know my Humans will be going on tour again in September but for now at least, it is quite nice to have them home for a bit, I especially like sitting on the sofa next to Marie watching CSI , on one of those rare occasions where they are not as ‘they’ say, running around like headless chickens.  Speaking of which, humans have no brains if they actually believe that a headless chicken can still run around !!!!!!

Anyway – have a good summer, I will let you know when rehearsals start again. For now though – time for a nap, I’ve been awake typing this for nearly 15 minutes so I’m exhausted.

Woof woof xx

Memory Lane Tour. Almost over

Tuesday 3^rd, Wednesday 4^th May, Solihull Arts Complex.

Today is the start of our final run of the season, although not quite the last show, and we leave our comfy beds at 7.00am to start the journey to the Midlands. Pen makes her way to the A64 in Leeds to her pick up point. Nina has an even earlier start to get to Colin and Marie’s house for the 7.00am departure. Siobhan, Fay and Helene make their way to Wooley Edge services on the A1 ready to be collected by Bill. Steve and Colin are together discussing the final days of Sunderland’s football season and whether manager Steve Bruce should be sacked or not.

Today is quite an exciting day for Marie and Colin as John and Judith from the Retired Greyhound Trust (http://www.rgtmidlands.co.uk/) where Maisy the Greyhound was rescued from. Since getting Maisy they have formed a great friendship and this is the first time they have managed to come to see one of the shows. Naturally a meal is planned afterwards.

The shows go according to plan, John and Judith are suitably impressed and a nice meal is had.

This is another venue where we have the luxury of two days, and therefore on the second day we have no load in task, no ironing, and a lie in bed before we arrive at the theatre around 1.00pm

No sooner does it seem we arrive there, we are loading the van at 11.00pm and looking forward to a drive to 

Ipswich, some 3 hours away in preparation for a matinee show in Felixstowe.

Thursday 5^th May. Spa Pavilion Felixstowe.

Record ticket sales for us at this venue and we are so grateful to all of the people who come to see our shows on a regular basis. There is a major recession out there, and there are so many companies in our position who have already bitten the dust.

By now everyone is on automatic pilot at every show. Set up, costumes, sound, light, preparation and performance. After 32 dates, that is pretty normal.

A normal day at the office is followed by a 4 hour journey up to Barnsley in Yorkshire, ready for 2 shows at Penistone Paramount tomorrow.

Steve and Colin take the monumental decision to purchase KFC on the journey, and the cast have a 

respectable arrival time at the Travelodge to have some chill time.

Friday 6^th May. Penistone Paramount.

Our penultimate show. Two weeks off after today, then just one matinee at Potters Bar and that is the tour over.

Many of the cast have quite a few family members coming to see the show today. Jen has her Gran, Auntie and a few others coming, while Fay has half the population of Penistone coming, as it is her home village.

As always at Penistone we have Jen’s dad, Jim, as a backstage helper. It is always great pleasure to have him with us, and I’m sure he enjoys his ‘work’ days with us.

Job done, and here we go with a two week break before our last show of the season.

April ends for the Theatre Tour

Tuesday 19^th April. Embassy Centre, Skegness

We are now fast approaching the last leg of this run and as ever we are asking ourselves where the time has gone to. It doesn't seem like two minutes since we were in rehearsals and now we are looking at 3 months break from touring.

Skegness is one of our newest venues but now becoming a very popular one with audiences. Over 550 in the crowd today for our matinee show and then we travel back home to do one of our local venues tomorrow.

Our backstage panic is building a little as Jenni has a throat infection and it looks like it could be a big one. The decision for today is that the show has only minor changes and Helene will stand in for Jenni in the Carpenters section. Marie is preparing to learn some of Jenni's major songs, and Colin is on standby to do 'Some Enchanted Evening' on his own instead of a duet with Pen. That should be interesting as that particular song has been a thorn in the side of both Colin and Pen when it comes to remembering the words. Funny how some songs just have that effect. We think that they are both mind readers as one of them always knows when the other is about to have a 'word blank'.

Great show, fish and chips eaten (its a rule that if you can see the sea you have to have fish and chips), and now the four hour journey home.

Wednesday 20^th April. Whitley Bay Playhouse.

Back to one of our local venues, and a venue we have not been to since its refurbishment. Looking ever so splendid now after millions of pounds on a facelift, however it is very confusing backstage because of the new layout. A matinee only show makes it an easy day, and the rule of 'see the sea, must have fish and chips is broken'. Back in the house by 6.00pm is a very strange feeling on a workday.

Friday 22^nd April. The trip to Aberdeen.

Now it is time to mix business with pleasure. A weekend trip to Aberdeen to see Debbie, Harry, Lucy and Rebecca, along with Sarah of course. Regular readers will know these names very well as our best friends who we are looking forward to seeing after what seems like a long absence. We travel on the Friday ready for the show next day, and seeing as the pub next door to the Travelodge contains an Indian restaurant, well, enough said.

A six hour journey to Aberdeen is not the most pleasant of tasks, but we get there safely, and Steve two bellies is trying to find the hottest curry on the menu for one bellie, and 35 popadoms for the other. A lovely night out for the cast and of course Debbie and Marie talk forever with so much to catch up on.

Saturday 23^rd April. Aberdeen Arts Centre.

Two very well attended shows. Matinee sold out! As ever the audience are fantastic and the cast are mobbed at the 'meet and greet' afterwards, signing what seemed to be thousands of CD's and programmes. Needless to say that Sarah has now appeared along with enough sandwiches to feed 5000 and there is enough food to occupy one full dressing room. For those not familiar with this ritual, Sarah is a friend of Debbie who out of the goodness of her heart goes to the time, trouble and expense to provide this food for the cast and children in the show. How many people are there like this in the world??????

Sunday 24^th April. Inverurie Town Hall.

Sarah is one of the first to arrive with yet another mountain of freshly prepared food. Bill Bill is already sizing up how big his doggy bag might be to take on our next journey. Thanks go once again to Frances Mitchell who done an enormous amount of work to promote the show in Aberdeen and Inverurie. Frances originally just one of the audience members with a love a live music who wanted to do her bit to make sure that live music and shows like ours still attracted audiences in smaller places like Inverurie.

Monday 25^th April. Two days off.

The cast agree that rather than travel 6 hours home, and then back to Scotland again on Wednesday morning, the most logical thing to do is to stay in Scotland and chill. First stop Perth, and a new Travelodge that has just emerged. Add to that a brilliant food pub in the same grounds and who needs to go anywhere. Well, the dancers do of course. A shopping precinct next door too, and that is their time occupied for the next 4 hours. Pub and food in the evening and everyone is in major relax mode. Fantastic.

Next day we travel further south to Dunfermline ready for the short journey to Greenock next day. Helene has gone back to Nottingham for an audition and so spends the two days off doing a million train journeys, while the rest of the cast occupy themselves with various day trips. Marie and Jen go to a safari park, Bill goes to the bank in some coastal resort, the dancers go into Edinburgh for the day, while Colin and Steve take the lazy option of KFC and Travelodge bed.......not the same bed together by the way.

Wednesday 27^th April.

Arts Guild Theatre, Greenock. Another successful days work with over 600 coming to see the show. Now planning a brand new multi million pound theatre to be opened next year, there is a certain excitement around the place that we also share. So many people have worked so hard to pull the venture off, and we wish them every success in the new venue.....and please let us come back to it!!!

Thursday 28^th April. Palace Theatre, Kilmarnock.

Two shows ahead of us today, and then the prospect of the three and a half hour journey home. The latest on Jenni's throat infection isn't good and all emergency measures are now put into place. Marie takes most of the Solo songs, Helene steps into a few routines and Colin is on his own for Some Enchanted Evening. Things like this are great for keeping everyone on their toes. Oh the joy of show business.

So there we have the remainder of April and how it panned out. Only 5 more days to go and the tour is officially over. How will things change for next season???? Who knows! Who will stay, who will go? Will anyone not be invited back? Will the company have another contract to fill after the showcase in June. Lots going on.

Watch this space for the latest updates and the blog entry for May.

Memory Lane April Update

And so we hit April. Another very very busy month, and as we are so far behind in writing the blog, here is half of the month in one go, and with some special entries from more of the cast.

Wednesday 6^th April. Middlesbrough Theatre.

Hi Everyone, Colin here, and it's my turn to keep you up to date in the blog. I'm so pleased that I got allocated Middlesbrough to comment on, and soon you will see why.

Our day starts with a bit of a shock. We are surprised to find out when we get there that the regular Stage Manager, Andy, is nowhere to be seen. We find out that he had a serious back injury, undergone surgery and is currently on the sick. Purely by chance he pops in to drop a sick note off and so we at least get a chance to see him and have a chat. He is currently on the mend and everyone at Timeless wishes him a speedy recovery.

Like I have said on stage at every show this season, we are so lucky to have met so many fantastic people in the last six years. From 'Tech' guys to Theatre Managers, Box Office staff, and of course audience members. With Andy missing its kind of like having a part of the normal team missing. His replacements were absolutely spot on, and helped with the set up with great speed and professionalism. No doubt Andy will claim he taught them everything they know!!!

This is an easy travel for us. Middlesbrough is only 45mins from home.

So why is Middlesbrough special for me I hear you ask??? Comedy is the answer. We have something like 70 theatres booked this year, and for me as a comic everyone is different and has its own 'pros and cons'. Sometimes comedy can be very difficult, and sometimes a piece of cake. Only two things determine the outcome of this. Firstly my own performance (I am human after all, and there are times such as last March when my mother passed away, it is a little bit harder to be funny), and secondly, audience reaction. Reactions can differ for so many reasons, but for some reason I have always had an amazing reaction from the audience at Middlesbrough. It then becomes exciting before the show and you get that 'let me get out there' feeling.

The show starts and as we get towards the end of the 'Movies and Musicals' section I am getting ready for my first 'patter' break. As expected, the audience is as per usual, and my job is so easy from then on in. The strange thing is that as a solo performer I used to hate working Middlesbrough, and would often 'die on my butt'. I'm sure most readers will understand that phrase.

After the matinee show I make a grave mistake, and after promising Steve Paul I would take him to the local shops with me for food. I jump in the van with Bill and leave Steve looking for me around the theatre. 35 apologies later I think he has forgiven me. I did manage to find him at the local 'Subway' and give him a lift back. That did help.

On the way home, Nina and Steve come with me in the van. I'm craving a Chinese meal, and stop at the nearest take away. With a beef and mushroom curry with egg fried rice in my hand we are ready for the short journey home. Within minutes Marie rings to announce that she has left her purse at the theatre.........FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!!! We double back, almost reach the theatre when Marie calls back to say she has found it....... ******** ********* ******!!!!!!!! Work that one out for yourself.

Oh, and while I remember I've lost a prawn. Yes, a prawn!! Out of a prawn sandwich!! Well, I actually lost it about two years ago in the van. Common thought is that it is living off any crisp crumbs we drop. I know it has to be there somewhere.........

Next stop a very busy and unusual day at Stanley and Consett which Steve Paul will tell you all about. His local venue, and to say he is a tad hyper about it would be an understatement.

Thursday 7^th April. Lamplight Arts Centre Stanley and Consett Empire

Hi everyone Steve Paul here

Today is very exciting one for me as I'm in my home town HAPPYDAYS!! you'll probably hear me say that a lot, the cast say I do anyway!!

So we started the day with an early get in to Stanley I had the luxury of walking to work but got to admit after the road miles we total up, it was very weird...but the sun was shining so I knew it was going to be a good day!!!

The cast and everyone were really good at putting me at ease on the day of reckoning although a few drinks wouldn't have gone a miss too mind!! It was really strange to be back at the Lamplight (formally know as Stanley Civic) as last time i was here was age 12 to 15 doing pantos..and funny enough the place has never changed really!!..

So we went around doing our normal routines (Steaming and ironing costumes)..girls went out got the brekkys in!!...whilst I walked around in and out the theatre like a headless chicken as nerves were starting to kicking in!!

So showtime commenced had a great show and seen some familiar faces in the crowd!! including my parents, my sis Vicky, and my little nephew Rhys.. who was asleep when he came in but shot up bolt right in the chair (when i sang Buble) what can I say he has taste and he is our youngest fan..

and everyone enjoyed the show so HAPPYDAYS!! (see I told you I say it all the time ) ;)

............................................................................................................................................................................................

So we packed up and were off to our next destination CONSETT EMPIRE THEATRE for the evening show...and the lads and stage hands have there work cut out so its all hands on deck to get out and go up to Consett...

Whilst this was going on myself and Nina ran down to Greggs to buy the place out of food!! I swear that girl can eat just as much as me if not more haha!!

So we got to Consett and the nerves were definitely kicking in now as I had what seemed like the whole of Consett coming to see me tonight. Family again and all my friends included....

Weird for me because my friends have never seen what i do for a living..and guess where they were sitting (front row) ARRRGGGHHH!!

We were going around the normal procedure when the fire alarm went off so everyone had to evacuate the building!!.. it was nothing to worry about though just false alarm!!..

Pretty much after that it was showtime!! and it was a fab show!! I have to say Consett has one of the best atmospheres (thanks to my family and friends lol) and best sound I've ever heard so happydays all round...

We went out to the foyer to do some signings with the cast so that was fun!! and signed my mates chest who I'm still not sure if he has washed it off yet!! Dirty boy!!!

Well happy reading and see you all in Stirling for more fun and games!!.........

HAPPYDAYS!! Steve Paul x

Friday 8^th April. Albert Halls Stirling.

Hello Blog readers... this is Helene here. I am writing the blog for Stirling. Today we have an evening show so all the cast have plenty of time to make their way up to Scotland. Me, Siobhan and Fay have stayed with Bill Bill so we decide to set off earlier and take the lovely scentic route through the countryside. On our way we have a stop at 'The Last Cafe in England' I was very excited about this moment and took some pictures and we also stopped again at the border between England and Scotland to take in the views. We finally arrived in Scotland 4 hours later feeling slightly travel sick due to the windy roads so we are all ready for a cup of tea. The rest of the cast arrive, the boys unload and Marie n Jenni have a cheeky scone at the theatre.

Everyone is set up and the first half of the show goes well. In the interval Fay calls the dancers onto the stage and reveals some mini chocolate chickens and lambs that have been given to us from a lovely lady at the theatre called Eileen (thank you). Very excited we take our mini chocolates and scatter them around the 50's set ready to start the second half of the show. I was very excited to start the section so that once Marie and Jenni sing their duet I can eat my chocolate chicken. The rest of the show goes smoothly and everyone packs up fast so that we can go and buy some grub from the takeaway. A few of us head into the town to get the casts food.

We are all back on the road now ready for our 3 hour journey home and looking forward to 2 days off before shows in Runcorn and Tamworth next week.

A footnote for Stirling has to mention not only the fantastic support we get from the Theatre staff there, but also the excellent dancing skill of some of the staff at the back of the theatre during the show. Especially Eileen, who also very kindly made us even more welcome with a gift pack of chocolates. They did of course come back with instructions that some had to be taken back to the office for Joanne to enjoy. We did comply with this request.

The Brindley, Runcorn, April 12^th,13^th, 14^th

Three days in one place is a bit of a luxury for us and Runcorn is one of our most popular venues. Over 1100 tickets sold, and the cast are already planning some nights out, and what to do with all the spare time we have while we are here.

Graeme and the other tech guys are there to greet us, except for Jim who is enjoying a day off. Most blog readers will be aware of Alex our previous dance captain, who is here today with some of the children she teaches. It's always great to see her and she is really enjoying her time leading a normal life. After all there has to be life after being on the road.

On the first night after finishing our matinee show, the girls are getting ready to paint the town red in Warrington. OK, so not the most famous place in the world for night life, but still its a great chance for the dancers to let their hair down. They visit Colin, Marie and Jen in their room before they go out, and they look absolutely stunning. Steve Paul is going with them, and off they trot looking better than a Wags party. Not long after they have left they text to say that Warrington is closed, there is nobody out partying, but still they manage to have a great night to themselves.

After the last show on Wednesday we pack the van, say our goodbyes, and travel to Tamworth. Just one matinee show to do on Thursday, and then we get a chance to go home for a few days.

Thursday 14^th April, Tamworth Assembly Rooms.

A normal day at the office for this one. Set up, do the show to a full house, pack the van ready to go, and then get a parking ticket on the van. This being after one of the theatre staff had asked the local traffic warden if we needed an official ticket on the windscreen of the van. The appeal is still in the process, and I'm sure that common sense will eventually get rid of the £60 fine. The cast now disperse themselves to various parts of the country for a few days well earned rest. Next stop Skegness, Whitley Bay and a lengthy stay in Scotland.

Memory Lane Theatre Tour continues

Tuesday 29^th March. Broadway Theatre, Catford.

Wow, wow and wow again. This has to be one of the best results we have had in a long time.

Regular readers may remember in our blog for last season was that we had the second best ticket sales for a matinee at this theatre, only beaten by Val Doonican. Well Val Doonican, sorry and all that, but we have now beaten your record. With an amazing 730 seats sold for just one matinee show. Fantastic. Special thanks go to all at Catford, and thanks for a great day too. With a great atmosphere from the very start, even some major technical hitches couldn't spoil the day. Poor Bill Bill had one of those nightmare days. It happens, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. We all have major blonde moments, today just happened to be Bills day. Bless him!! Fortunately most of the gaffs are ones which the audience would not even spot. We hope.....!! In the meantime here is a word from one of the cast

I’m Siobhan, one of the dancers and I’ll be reporting from our show in Catford. I live just round the corner so this was an easy one for me to travel to, just 5 minutes on the bus! I met the others at the theatre and of course we went for our ritual of tea and sausage sandwiches before setting up for the show.

I had 4 friends watching today so I was a little nervous. The show was also sold out so there was a great atmosphere. After the show we went to sign programmes and CD’s and meet some of the audience and I got to grill my friends on which were their favourite parts!

Once we were all packed up from the show we were all ready for food so headed to a local Chinese restaurant to eat. Everyone had been raving about this place since the tour started so I was very excited to try it. We all ate huge plates of noodles and sweet and sour chicken. It was delicious but we could barely move at the end! Then it was back on the road and on to our next venue… 


Look out for a very special entry next time courtesy of Penni. Watch this space.

There, that didn't take long. Here is that space.

Hello there ! This is Jenni (sometimes known by the cast as Pen), and I volunteered to write the blog for our visit to Salisbury this week.

Things went really well, in fact, so well there wasn’t really a great deal to write about that you haven’t heard already on previous blogs (audience was nice, Show went well, Colin and Bill ate Bacon Sarnies etc etc etc).

I have therefore decided that you (as an interested blog reader) may like to find out a little more about our Cast and am today posing as an intrepid interviewer and will do some backstage interviews and dig out some gossip !!!!!!

One of the most interesting things I discovered was that all of the dancers said that the Tom Jones section of the show was their favourite, in particular they all said they loved dancing the ‘just help yourself’ routine, not as I first thought because of Colin’s sexy moves, but because they all love the red costumes and the latin style routine. Colin however said it was one of his favourites because he got the chance to be sexy !!!!!

Marie had so many favourites in this show, she found it hard to choose her favourite but she eventually said the same as myself – the Eurovision section. (though I like 50’s too) Steve also likes a few sections but decided upon the 70’s section and the Michael Buble song as his favourites (mainly because he likes the suit he wears in that song).

Everyone was asked who they felt got in trouble the most backstage (ie who did things wrong etc) and not surprisingly the most common answer was ‘Colin’ even Colin voted for himself on that question, but added that he never actually does anything wrong. Sad when someone is in denial isn’t it?

Almost everyone stated that Ironing was the part of a show day they would gladly miss out. Which is no surprise because every costume that is worn on stage has to be ironed (or Steamed) before the show and as you may have seen, there are a lot of costumes so this can take a while. The only person that didn’t agree was Marie who quite likes ironing but said she doesn’t like it enough to do everyones ironing for them, so we will continue to do our own.

It would appear that the general concensus is that Helene and Nina are the most chatty and amusing backstage, they seem to make everyone smile or laugh the most, Fay and Siobhan are the quieter ones (well not that quiet really) and Marie is the best at sorting out emergency costume issues (she can sort out a dodgy zip in less time that it takes Steve to Velcro up a waistcoat !)

It was mentioned in my probing backstage interviews that Blog readers may be interested to know that myself and Marie talk rather a lot, in fact it has been noticed that we have been known to finish each other’s sentences sometimes too and that people sharing our dressing room don’t get a word in, it was also mentioned that we were both probably the most accident prone (well Maisy the Greyhound is more accident prone than us) . It was also accurately pointed out that blog readers should be made aware that in every show this season, the dancers and Steve, are always ready in costume and on stage, well before Colin, Marie and I, something that will probably never change to be honest!

Other interesting facts (well that is probably a matter of opinion) that we thought you loyal Blog readers would like to know are as follows……..

When Colin was a teenager he wanted to be a footballer and actually had spells playing for both Bolton Wonderers and Sunderland (he was stopped by an injury – otherwise he may have been invited to the Royal Wedding instead of David Beckham)

Nina’s favourite hobby (out of work) is attending Spinning classes. Her current food of choice is ‘Crisps’ though it used to be chocolate until Fay and Siobhan converted her during this season.

Fay loves Indian food and loves the Poppadoms and pickle tray in Dyce. She has two lovely dogs ‘Mia and Jack’.

Colin loves cooking and gets frustrated by the fact that myself and Marie never want Indian food so whenever Fay stays over in rehearsals, they try adventurous food together whilst Marie and myself stick with delights such as Cheese on Toast, Eggs on Toast or Beans on Toast.

Steve loves Football, supports Sunderland and can eat loads, he loves his food so much that Colin says he has two bellies !!!!

Siobhan brings her knitting on tour with her and is often found in the Travelodge continuing with her latest knitting project. She also is working on copying Nina’s accent and can already do a fairly accurate impression of Helene.

Helene still has a good tan which has lasted since she got back from working in Egypt. (Marie is very jealous of this) She loves singing in the Carpenters section in some shows and has a very infectious laugh.

I talk in my sleep. Helene has started taking a footspa on tour. Fay massages her feet with a golf ball, Siobhan is so obsessed with Cheryl Cole she bought a special can of hairspray that has her picture on and Nina wants a gnome for her garden this year!

Bill-Bill was unable to be interviewed due to matters of national security and the official secrets act (well he was too busy) but blog readers may be interested to know that he enjoys keeping fit (he goes running when he isn’t working) and he works constantly backstage from the minute we arrive until the minute we leave – even during the interval he is building and moving props, loading the van etc. He also hides bars of chocolate in the van for him and Colin – he doesn’t know I know this!

Well that’s about it, on to the next venue now.

Thursday 31^st March, Town Hall Theatre, Hartlepool

Nina's Blog for the day

So we are in my home place of the North East. The girls cant wait to see the Angel of the North which amuses me and Bill as we think of it more as the tin man. We have two shows today and I'm looking forward to it as my Mam is coming today with my Aunty and Uncle. After a fitting of our knew white feather packs and silver bikinis for our Viva las Vegas routine we are ready to go. Our dressing room now looks like a plucked chicken but Colin is on hand to clean it up. The show goes down really well and my family loved it. Time for a quick break before show number two. Marie manages to get her beauty sleep even with a loud tap dancing class upstairs. This is our last show before a nice few days off and all ends well after another fun performance.

And so March has now gone. April is another busy month with 13 venues to get through. For now we enjoy a short break until Middlesbrough next Wednesday.

Memory Lane Theatre Tour

Thursday 24th March. Garrick Playhouse, Altrincham

Hello all, it’s now my turn to write the blog! I am Fay and I am the dance captain, which means keep everyone in check for all movement and dancing aspects of the show and I also rehearse all the Memory Lane Juniors before the show at each of the different theatres. Oh, it’s such a hard job!!

So, after a lovely day off in Newcastle, (which Helene, Siobhan and I spent at Nando’s in the sunshine) we travelled down to Altrincham. I especially was looking forward to this performance as my mum and dad were coming to watch me for the first time this season! Helene’s parents, grandma and boyfriend also came to watch, plus our dance supervisor Alex complete with notepad and pen ready to write notes and corrections! No pressure then! Hehe! However, nerves aside the performance went well, no problems and our families all enjoyed the show. And as our male singer, Steve Paul, would say ‘Happy days!’

Thursday 23rd March 2011

HI everyone, this is Marie writing the blog for this weeks tour (mainly because I am frustrated at losing my voice and decided writing was a better option.) Thankfully my voice is returning to normal and I am on the mend which is great news for Jenni as she can return to singing her normal parts in the show.

This week we have three shows in Scotland which makes for a very very early start on Monday morning as we drive up to Rutherglen for two shows. The drive wasn’t too bad thankfully, though Nina probably does’t remember much of it as she slept (and snored) nearly the whole way.

It is Nina’s birthday today so we have had a little collection and bought her a card and a few bits and pieces. Jenni spent most of Saturday baking a cake for the occasion too.

Rutherglen was great we had two sell out houses and the audience were fantastic, singing in all the right places (which seeing as my voice is still a little sore I was grateful for).

After two shows we had quite a drive to contend with as we were staying the night in Dundee ahead of a matinee show on Tuesday. It was Jenni’s turn to sleep on the back seat of My car because she had a nasty migraine, but thankfully Helene was on hand to talk to Me and keep me going on the drive. Strangely upon arrival at the Travelodge myself, Jenni (who was coming round by now) and Helene found that we were locked inside my car. Now I know this sounds very odd but it’s true – somehow the car had locked itself with us inside ! We turned the engine back on and the doors opened so we did get out eventually.

Tuesday morning and after a good nights sleep (although not long enough in bed!!!) we were up and ready to go to the Whitehall Theatre in Dundee – this of course means a visit to Clarks 24 hour Bakery which Nina and Siobhan are looking forward to as they have never been before.

We unfortunately however, came up against a little problem in the car park of the Travelodge. It would appear our little problem of getting locked in the car last night was the start of a slightly bigger problem. My car seems to have developed an internal locking issue and this time wouldn’t let us in !!!!!!

Now not only did we need to get in the car in order to get to the theatre for our matinee show – but more importantly we had to go get our bacon sarnies from the 24 hour bakery!

I tried pressing the key fob from all angles and pointed it at various areas of the car – it didn’t open.

Jenni tried pressing the key fob from all angles and pointed it at various areas of the car – it still didn’t open.

Helene tried pressing the key fob from all angles and pointed it at various areas of the car – it still didn’t open.

Colin (who isn’t always too cheerful in a morning) got out of the van with that ‘girls are pathetic’ look on his face, grunted and took the key fob off us – he tried pressing the key fob from all angles and pointed it at various areas of the car – it still didn’t open – he got back in the van to watch as he didn’t have any further suggestions !

The only part of the car that would successfully unlock was the boot – and don’t ask me how but Jenni somehow knew that by climbing in the boot you could unclip the armrest that sits in the middle of the back seat.

Next thing we saw was Jenni trying to squeeze herself through the tiny gap in the back seat, reach over and put the key in the ignition, start the car and ‘bingo’ unlock the car doors.

That sorted we arrived at the bakery, parked the car and decided (very wisely I thought) to leave the car unlocked whilst we went in to get the bacon sarnies, just in case there was a problem unlocking the car again.

Bacon Sarnies successfully purchased we returned to the car to find a bigger problem, the car’s internal locking issue had further advanced to deciding (presumably for security reasons) that it would lock itself (seeing that we hadn’t) and we could now not get in again.

Yes you guessed it – in the middle of the car park we had to empty the boot and yet again Jenni had to climb in through the boot, squeeze through the hole in the arm rest and start the car in order to let us all in. !!!!! There were a few interesting looks from passers-by I can tell you.

The show itself went very well in Dundee – a good audience again and other than Steve thinking he had finished his song (when in fact he hadn’t) and randomly going to sit down, the show went without a hitch and we were soon packing the van and preparing for the four hour drive home and a day off before a show in Altrincham. Jenni is hoping that my car is fixed before then as she is getting a little bored of climbing through the boot every time we stop.

Timeless Theatre tour begins

OK, so we are late in the first blog posting of the season, but at last it is here, and with lots to report since our last posting.

Let us go back to audition time early in February. A total of 18 girls attended our dance audition with two dancers needed for our tour. A tough 2 hour audition is the task for dance captain Fay to put the girls through, and at the end of it all we have made our decision as to the girls we want. So welcome aboard Siobhan Minnis, and Nina Hall. Siobhan is originally from Yorkshire, but now living in London, while Nina is a local girl from Sunderland. The first local girl we have had for quite some time. More on the new girls to follow.

In the meantime here is a story from Maisy the Greyhound.

Hello everyone, I am Maisey (the Greyhound that Colin and Marie rescued from the Retired Greyhound Trust) If you are a regular blog reader then you will no doubt have heard of me when Colin has previously mentioned me in the Timeless Blog.

Colin seems extremely busy at the moment so I have, learned how to use the computer and decided to contribute to my upkeep (which is a lot of doggie treats and bones) and write the start of this years blog for him.

It doesn’t seem two minutes since the last show was on tour, now all of a sudden my house (which is always busy) seems even more busy with the rehearsals starting mid-February. First of all there were all the costumes to sort out, there seems to be lots of them and lots of feathers and sequins, they all take up a lot of room. It would appear that laying on top of the comfy feathery costumes didn’t Help Marie too much, but she did let me watch from my bed.

Thankfully most of the costumes didn’t stay in my living room, they were sent to Shirley (the Dressmaker) and presumably they clogged up her house instead!

When the rehearsals actually started they asked me if I would like to go along and watch (well in all honesty they got my lead out and tricked me into thinking I was going for a walk – then they took me to the rehearsal rooms somewhere about 20 minutes away). The rehearsal rooms consist of two main rooms, one is very cold and the other is even colder, but I was ok ‘cause my comfy bed was brought along with my fury blanket to sleep under. (I took my teddy to cuddle too)

There are a few new people this year – but let me fill you in on who is who (cause I know them all now)………

Obviously there is Marie and Colin – you should know who they are by now. There is Jenni (or Pen to her good friends like me) the singer who has been on tour with Timeless for over three years now (she turned up to rehearsals with a broken finger which she claims she did fighting dragons – she confessed to me though that she simply fell over a twig – stupid or what?), Steve who joined the cast last year (he is very very tall and his feet are bigger than everyone elses by miles), Fay the Dance Captain (she has two doggies of her own so she is easy to get along with) Helene a dancer, who is returning for her fourth tour (she is always smiling and laughing and I’ve decided she will be a good person to follow in the hope of getting extra treats) and then there are Siobhan and Nina who are new dancers (and seem to be very friendly – I intend to make them my friends too).

That is the cast but a lot more people seem to be involved in rehearsals and the preparation of the tour – I find it hard to remember everyone (I do have a good memory for those who give me treats though!), but I’ll try…… There is Bill-Bill the road manager, he is usually busy in an even colder room building props and the new set that consists of a 1950’s ice cream parlour. Sonya comes along to help with rehearsals (and brings me my favourite treats), Alex and Gemma the Dancer Supervisors come to teach some of the routines, Suzanne the Choreographer comes in and makes sure the show is perfect. Shirley sometimes comes with costumes that people need to try on and sometimes she brings her sewing machine too. Mary (Marie’s Mum) comes to sew things sometimes and then there is the most important person of all…….. Jo-Jo, (Colin and Marie’s PA). Jo-Jo is the most patient person in the world, always seems to be busy, has the most diverse job description in the world (that includes everything from accounts to dog walking) and always (yes always!) has doggy treats in her handbag – that is why she is my favourite.

Gosh rehearsals are hard work. Personally I lay in my bed and sleep for a couple of hours, go out for a quick walk with Colin, then persuade someone to give me a doggie treat (or if they have human food that’s even better) then it’s time for a nap again, more treats, more napping and then hometime. I really like sleeping and sometimes I open one eye and check that they are all still rehearsing. The cast seem to be a little busier than me in rehearsals though, they pretty much sing and dance for 10 hours per day and do this continually for 13 days!!!!!!! From about day 10 they bring all the costumes and use them to practice. Some of the cast get in and out of costumes really quickly – they call this a ‘Quick Change’ and have to practice to make sure they get back on stage in time to sing or dance to their song. Some of these ‘Quick Changes’ take a lot of practising - I usually continue to sleep through them.

During rehearsals this year there seemed to be a few things that stressed out the humans, One of which was very upsetting. Someone broke into our van whilst it was parked outside and stole things. Colin wasn’t happy and called the robbers ‘pond-life’! (among other names) The police had to come and it cost Colin money to repair the broken window.

The next day Marie locked her car and house keys in the boot of her car and the RAC man had to come out and break in to her car to retrieve them. Thankfully not too much damage, (even though it took over an hour to break in to her car) but Marie didn’t seem too happy that day.

I enjoyed following Helene the dancer around the rehearsals sometimes in between naps – she doesn’t seem to know that Dogs don’t usually get to eat beef flavour crisps and rich tea biscuits – good eh? I was quite excited to try on a couple of Helene’s Hats and let Jenni take a picture (I tried to look unimpressed though, don’t want to ruin my street cred). I also had my picture taken with all the dancers when they were wearing some wonderful feather costumes. I’m very pleased because this photo will be sent to my friends John and Judith at the Retired Greyhound Trust. They are spreading the word that us Greyhounds are great companions, very well behaved and extremely relaxed (generally asleep to be honest) maybe then some of my friends can be rescued by nice people too.

The rehearsals came to an end eventually and then the cast were ready to go on stage for their first performance, Whilst I will miss them all and thoroughly enjoyed my time in rehearsals I am quite relieved that I can relax at home in front of the TV now for a few months – well until the next rehearsals in August that is, I already told them I’ll be there then too, so they better all start saving up to buy me treats and bones.

More from me later in the year................now it is back to the humans

Customs House in South Shields is our local little baby, where we do four shows in three days, and therefore on to the first show. As ever there are plenty of first show nerves around. The backstage costume changes are just as difficult as the on-stage activity, and the new girls get to grip with the organised mayhem that needs to happen for the show to work. Fortunately four of the cast have done this show before, and so Colin, Marie, Jenni, and Helene have the additional task of keeping everyone calm when things get frantic.

Somehow the first show goes without any major problems, and for all on stage there is a major sigh of relief. First show over, routines are in place, costume changes made on time, well, most of them, and a successful show. Now the tour begins.

All four shows at the Customs House are done and dusted, the van is loaded and we leave to have a well earned two day rest before setting off on the first of our travels. This season is condensed into a shorter space of time than normal, with the tour ending in mid May instead of June, which means we are regularly doing 3 or 4 shows per week. Next stop is Hayes in Middlesex and of course back to Travelodges.

Tuesday 8^th March. Beck Theatre, Hayes. The journey from Durham is so long for this one that we travel the night before. This also gives the cast a chance to chill on Monday night, have a drink or two, get some food and generally unwind before the matinee next day.

Updates so far.....Jenni's broken finger is on the mend, but bless her she is still suffering some tropical disease after her holiday. Bleeding mozzies!!!!! Siobhan is the first dancer to lose some item of accessory and breathes a massive sigh of relief when she finds out that Bill picked the bracelet up from the Customs House. Helene is no longer amazed that Travelodges have towels (Regular readers will understand this). Fay is doing her dance captain role of checking that the girls are doing their routines properly, and the new girls are settling in very nicely. Steve has now cracked all of the lyrics to the new songs. Colin has his comedy breaks sorted, timed, and plotted out. Marie is no longer running around trying to get costumes ready for certain deadlines, and Bill Bill is confident that the lighting plot is now as it should be.

Todays show is yet again trouble free, and it is only a short drive to our next Travelodge in Surrey, ready for the Harlequin Theatre in Redhill tomorrow.

Wednesday 9^th March. Harlequin Theatre, Redhill. Again just a matinee and the cast really have an easy week this week. Three matinee shows and then back home. Redhill is a theatre that we only visit once again instead of the regular twice a year. Normally we would do a matinee and evening show but with most of the audience attending the matinee, the decision is made to do just one show.

The normal show day routine goes ahead. Arrive at the theatre for 11.00am, girls get the boys bacon sarni's, props are set, costumes are set, and then ironed. Sound system put up, and by around 1.00pm everyone is more or less ready for showtime. A good show, and before we know it we are travelling three and a half hours up the road to Cheshire ready for our show in Winsford.

Thursday 10^th March. Lifestyle Centre, Winsford. Having arrived at the Travelodge at Warrington at around 10.00pm last night, the cast are well rested and ready for the 2.00pm show. This week we have had no children in any of our shows, and so the set up is a little easier as some of the props are only used when we do have children. A pre show meeting is organised with the cast to do 'notes'. This is the chance for Marie to go through a video of the show and correct any mistakes that any of the cast are making, and bring in any new suggestions which would enhance the show. Not a great many mistakes to correct although there are some, and most of the cast have a least a few things that they need to be aware of during todays show..

The first problem to tackle today is the fact that we have interference on two of our radio mikes from a local radio station. Just a minor irritation but has to be done. Most of the cast are looking forward to going home after todays show with the exception of Jenni who is going back to stay with Colin and Marie in Durham. Maisy the greyhound has had her first taste of being in kennels since last year, but as she sometimes has the company of another greyhound called Pax, she is quite happy to see her second home.

5.00pm sees the van packed, cars loaded, and everyone is on their way. Unfortunately only one day off and then we venture back down to London, but that one day will be very much enjoyed by all.

Progress of our dancers in India

Thought this might be a good time to update the progress of our Dancers in India. Our two 3-girl dance troupes have been out there now since October last year, and still have 5 months of their contract still to run.

One of the troupe's is based in Goa, and the other in Bangalore. From a company point of view the least we hear from them the better, as it means that there are no problems, life is good and everyone is happy in what they are doing. Naturally though, this isn't always the case. In the past we have had various problems to contend with which isn't easy when the girls are so far away.

The biggest problem of course is rarely caused by our contact in India, and is normally more to do with events back home, a family problem, or the most common a boyfriend problem. At the moment we are very lucky, and apart from a few minor blips our two troupes have caused us very little work, and what little blips there have been have been very easy to sort. With such varying personalities it is difficult to predict what will happen when 3 dancers have to spend 8 months together working in a country with such different approaches to life. Our girls in Goa are experienced dancers, all of whom have spent a lot of their working life abroad or away from home and are used to different cultures. The Bangalore girls on the other hand are quite inexperienced in comparison, however seem to have coped extremely well. If we had any doubts about the girls, it would have been whether the Bangalore girls had the ability to adapt to such a different world.

The work situation in India is not great at the moment, and instead of working the expected 26 nights per month, the girls are averaging way less than this figure. Not good for Neil our contact out there, but great for the girls as they spend most of the time on the beach or doing tourist things while still getting paid. OK, so the salaries in India are way below what we would expect in the UK, but one of the great things about being in the entertainment industry is that occasionally you get a chance to work in some fantastic countries. The girls in Bangalore are staying in a complex that has a pool, and no doubt will come back with the greatest of suntans.

Myself and Marie have been very lucky to have worked on Cruise Ships all over the world. Marie in particular spent around 12 years at sea, and we were extra lucky that our final contract and final cruise was a world cruise on the Saga Rose.

One of our goals for this year is to get our four part harmony group 'Deja Vu' doing 'Fly ons'. A term used where a cabaret act will fly out to meet a ship, do a 7 day contract, then fly home again. A bit of a tiresome task but the benefits are fantastic. If we do get such a contract then Marie and I will perform in the show for the first couple of contracts, and then bow out and let someone else take our places.

Thankfully our marketing push is paying off and we are now getting the enquiries from Event Organisers and Agents from around the world. Now we need to convert those into contracts and keep our singers and dancers working all year round. Fingers crossed !!!!!!!!